A Wild Life Tarot ~ Family Emergency
Thank you so much for your support.
Hi, friends. The past ten days have been a brutal & heartbreaking roller coaster for me & my family. I’m so sorry to have missed sending out last week’s newsletter, but we were in emergency mode here at home. Andrew & I are spending this week resting & grieving. I hope I’ll be ready to put together Virgo Szn Tarotscopes & the Self Care Kit this weekend, & be able to deliver next week’s newsletter with your card for the collective on Tuesday, as usual. This week, I am asking for your support.
On Saturday, August 10th, Andrew & I woke up early to get ready to drive down to PDX for my sweet nephew, Jack’s, second birthday. As we were feeding our rescued animal fam breakfast, we noticed Buttercup (our bunny), hadn’t eaten her dinner or treats from the night before. When I picked her up, I could tell right away that something was very wrong. We rushed her to our emergency vet & she was admitted into the hospital immediately. Buttercup received triage care, & her medical team ran diagnostics to figure out what was going on. They discovered she was in GI stasis, which is a common but potentially fatal health issue for bunnies. Something was blocking her gastrointestinal tract. They performed an initial procedure to remove a lot of gas, fluid, & food from her stomach. They couldn’t remove it all though, & there was still an obstruction in her digestive system endangering her life. At 3am on Sunday, they decided to perform a risky exploratory emergency surgery to find & remove whatever was blocking her system. The surgery was successful, & we were relieved that she made it through okay. The blockage was a hairball, & we were so grateful it wasn’t something more serious- like a tumor pressing into her intestines (something that happened to our late bunny, Tony, who passed away shortly after his own surgery a couple years ago). Buttercup stayed in the ICU for the next five days. Her recovery following her surgery was a roller coaster journey, full of moments showing slow & steady progress as well as additional health issues that were stalling her healing process. Andrew & I went to visit her every day, bringing her treats & giving her pets, while discussing her treatment plan with her doctors. In terrible timing, I got Covid half way through the week, & Andrew had to visit Buttercup without me- FaceTiming me from the hospital while Buttercup munched on apples beside him.
Every day, Andrew & I needed to pay another deposit in order to keep Buttercup hospitalized. The first day Buttercup was admitted to the ICU cost us over $2,000. Her surgery cost over $4,000. Each day she was on supportive care receiving ongoing bloodwork, radiographs, medicine, IV fluids, various forms of therapy, syringe feedings, & constant monitoring cost us over $1,000 per day. It was a miracle that we were able to find a way to make each payment, & much of that was due to the support of community, family, & friends. We started fundraising immediately last week, knowing that Buttercup would have a long & expensive road to recovery. We were hoping to take her home by the weekend. Even though her prognosis was guarded throughout the week, we witnessed her appetite, energy, mobility, & fighting spirit slowly & steadily increase every single day. We felt scared, tired, & sad for Buttercup knowing how awful she must have felt in an unfamiliar place while still feeling sore & groggy from her major abdominal surgery. But all the vets working with her told us how sweet she was, & how she had such an inspiring fighting spirit. As long as Buttercup was determined to heal, we were fully committed to doing everything in our power to help her recover & come home to us.
On Friday morning, we received a phone call from the hospital just after 4am. Buttercup had suffered from a heart attack. Her medical team was performing CPR on her, but her prognosis had become incredibly poor. We lost our girl after fighting for her so hard & never giving up hope. Andrew had just been visiting with her less than 12 hours before, & it was the brightest & most active she had seemed all week. We are devastated & heartbroken. It still seems so surreal that she’s just gone. She was doing zoomies around the apartment like normal, then 36 hours later- she was fighting for her life in the hospital because of a hairball. It is tragic & feels so unfair for her. My poor girl. She should still be here.
Andrew & I went to say our last goodbyes this past Saturday. We arrived at the hospital late at night, during a thunderstorm. Because I was still testing positive with Covid, we stayed in the car to protect the health of the hospital staff. One of the vets brought Buttercup’s body out to our car, wrapped in a baby blanket. Andrew & I took turns holding her, & kissing her perfect forehead, & thanking her for adding so much joy & meaning to our lives. I cried & told her to say hello to Tony & Briar, the other members of our bunny family who both passed away a couple years ago. Before we left, we handled the remaining balance on our hospital bill, we picked out a pretty box for her ashes after deciding to have her cremated, & took back some stuffed animals & a flannel shirt we had left with her that her doctors said would make her feel more at home while in the ICU. The staff gave us a clay imprint of her little paws for us to keep in her memory. Since that night, Andrew & I have been doing our best to take care of ourselves, each other, & our rescued hen June- who has been lifting my spirits by snuggling with my feet while I’ve been sitting on the couch working on putting together a GoFundMe campaign. Tonight, Andrew is going back to work & picking up extra shifts so we can start paying off all this medical debt. For the first time in five years, I’ve started searching for a day job again to make some much needed additional income. I’ll be opening up my books to start doing one-on-one readings again soon, but honestly- I still have some resting & healing to do before I can handle holding space for others through such deep & focused energy work.
For anyone who can relate to losing a beloved member of their furry family, you know how heart wrenching the aftermath can be. I still don’t have it in me to throw out the pellets still left in her food bowl, let alone pack up her blankets & toys & find a place to donate her big bag of hay & other supplies. I’ve had bunnies in my daily life, as part of my family, for the last 14 years. I can’t yet imagine a future that doesn’t have Buttercup in it. Every morning I wake up, & reality slowly sinks in, & I feel the heavy absence of her sweet & affectionate companionship. Navigating such a monumental loss is hard enough on it’s own. Feeling the pressure to stay financially afloat during this crisis makes it so much harder. Of course, we still have to make sure we can continue to take good care of June (our rescued hen) & stay on top of her own vet visits, as well. She’s been battling cancer & requiring routine check ups since she was diagnosed a year ago. Thankfully she’s doing well, & we are so grateful for her own amazing veterinarian team, too. But she is already due for a follow up visit, soon. If you want to offer Andrew, June, & me some support right now- I’ve put together a formal GoFundMe campaign to help us recover from this sudden accrual of medical debt, & to hopefully raise enough to create a legacy fund in Buttercup’s honor. Our total hospital bill was just over $10,000 & that is our current fundraising goal. Please, use the link below to donate & share Buttercup’s story. Thank you so so much for supporting me & my family during this time of mourning. Thank you so much to everyone who has already reached out to offer messages of love & support. We extend our deepest gratitude to those who were early donors to our campaign. It truly means the world to us <3 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Buttercup was a part of my life for the past twelve years. I adopted her from an abusive home when I was living in Brooklyn back in the fall of 2012. She was a survivor, a fighter, & a sweetheart. We’d been through so much together. She was my baby, even though she was 13 years old when she passed. Nothing will ever be able to replace the bunny-shaped hole in our hearts that is causing us so much sorrow right now. But we hope to create some good out of this tragedy. We still plan to continue opening up our home to animals in need at some point in the future. I will keep participating in rescue work & caregiving, & one day we will be ready to foster & adopt more bunnies into our family. In the meantime, we want to help other families avoid falling into this awful financial crisis we find ourselves in due to an unpredictable & unavoidable emergency. If we can exceed our fundraising goal, we will be creating a legacy fund to honor Buttercup’s memory. We hope to work with our exotics animal hospital to create an emergency fund other families can use when they would otherwise be forced to choose “economic euthanasia.” I didn’t know about this term until last week. Economic euthanasia happens when a family is forced to have their companion animal euthanized because they can’t afford to pay for their life-saving medical care. I can’t fathom needing to surrender to this horrifying circumstance. I’m so proud of myself for always finding a way to protect my rescued animal fam, even when I’ve had to overcome my own ego, ask for help, & rely on the generosity of others. It is a very tender & vulnerable thing to ask for & receive financial aid from friends & family. It is far outside my comfort zone, but I do it on behalf of the innocent animals in my care who deserve love, safety, protection, comfort, & long, happy, healthy lives. I know not everyone has the strength & courage to ask for support in this way, & I know others don’t have access to such a wide & supportive network of compassionate humans like I do. As a person who always tries her best to give back to the world more than I take, I know how fulfilling & purposeful it feels to help others who need it & are often unheard or overlooked. It would mean so much to me to be able to support other families struggling to pay urgent medical bills for their companion animals who would otherwise be euthanized before having a fighting chance at a full recovery. If we can exceed our fundraising goal by getting our own financial needs met first, we’ll be able to save a few lives in Buttercup’s honor. Please help us reach this powerful goal by donating & sharing our campaign with your friends, family, & community.
As our little Universe seems frozen in time here at home, the world around us keeps on turning. I believe in the power of Universal energy that connects all of us to one another, & the spiritual forces that guide us through our hardest moments with strength & hope. When I pulled the 10 of Swords as my New Moon card two weeks ago, I could have never predicted how accurate that reading would end up being. This chapter of pain & incredible hardship does, indeed, mark an ending in my life. Reading over my own notes, I am reminded that “the 10 of Swords is about hope, resiliency, & enduring pain to get through to an empowering new beginning.” I know there are powerful lessons to be learned through this tragic experience that will help me grow. I know I am already on the right path forward by taking action & receiving support instead of spiraling into depression & victim mentality mode. I know there is a bright future on the other side of this traumatizing event, even if I can’t see it with any clarity yet. Today, Aug 22nd, is the first day of Virgo Szn. I love a new beginning more than anything. Even though I’m still in the thick of grief, I’m treating today as a tiny step forward in the direction of healing & an expansive, purposeful future. Virgo energy is all about getting organized, putting in the work, & serving others while finding balance & investing in lots of self care. I plan to work on tapping into this energy myself, while staying focused on gathering the resources needed in order to get my family’s needs met while aiming towards supporting other families who need help, too. Some good will come out of this. It has to.
And in the spirit of tradition, I will also share this weekly self care resource with you. This is the Virgo Szn Yoga Playlist I’ve created for myself. I’ll be doing one practice each day, & I’m looking forward to getting back on the mat after this past week & a half of Covid, chaos, & inconsistency with self care. I hope you use it & share it with others. Yoga always helps me feel grounded, strong, & steady in my own body & mind. Each of these videos correlates with a specific theme that aligns with the energy of Virgo season. I hope this resource supports you as much as I know it will support me in the days & weeks to come.
Thank you for holding space for my aching heart by reading this, & please know that any contribution you can makes towards our fundraising efforts is so deeply appreciated. Feeling seen & cared for right now is helping our family find peace & healing. No donation is too small to make a difference, & we truly thank you from the bottom of our tender hearts. Thank you so so much.
Happy Virgo Season & I hope you have something magical to look forward to this weekend,
xoxo Maddie
Please accept my condolences.